Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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