ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize