I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
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We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
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Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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