Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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