I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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