Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize