the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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