This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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