do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize