Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize