I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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