these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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