I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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