im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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