dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
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Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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