the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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