I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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