i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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