You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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