I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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