I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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