I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize