Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
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I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
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He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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