Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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