So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
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Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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