Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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