Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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