M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize