I don't usually arrange sex via text message
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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