Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
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I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
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No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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