peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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