Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize