This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize