Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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