i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
