Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize