I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize