oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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