State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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