the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Pants 0. Shit 1.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
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i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
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Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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