you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
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There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
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And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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