All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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