Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize