i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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