I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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