On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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