I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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