The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize