I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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