Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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