dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize